For those of you looking for one of our typical posts about Yoenis Cespedes’ wife or Yoenis Cespedes’ girlfriend, we regret that we don’t have much to talk about on that front. In our quick divergence from normally scheduled programming, we thought we’d learn more about his family…. And man oh man, this Yoenis Cespedes’ family had a rough go of it. A recent article by Ctpost.com details the serious struggles of getting the hell out of Cuba for Yoenis and his family, which included 10 people and plenty of uncomfortable situations. Yoenis, on the other hand, had an easier time cashing into a $36 million contract, but while he was in Cuba about to leave for Haiti, he accidentally hit a bicyclist, and the guy had a heart attack and died a few hours later. Bummer.
It’s really weird how we treat Cuba and its inhabitants. We’ve set up this game where we won’t trade and let our citizens go there from the States, but if a Cuban manages to make their way to our soil, they can instantly become a resident. Yoenis Cespedes’ mother Estela Milanes, grew up as a softball star in Cuba and gives Yoenis batting tips, but she and the rest of the Cespedes crew had to battle through miserable circumstances in order to arrive at their final destination in Florida. First, they ended up stranded on an islet about the size of a baseball infield for three days. They caught and cooked an iguana and seagull, but no one could keep them down. A cooked iguana does sound pretty nasty, but I didn’t realize a cooked seagull would be so tough and gross. The things you learn when you’re fleeing your country.
They were next saved by a yacht and taken to a tropical paradise called Turks and Caicos, but they were soon thrown in a detention center without any amenities of any kind. Then, the UN got involved and said they could chill out on the island until they figured out what to do with them, but as soon as they got a chance, they jumped on a nice fella’s yacht and sailed in style to Florida, where a worried-sick Yoenis flew out to meet them. So now Yoenis is an all-star playing for one of the coolest teams in the Majors. To be honest, I’m not so impressed by the season he’s been having. Batting .259 with 14 homers is definitely valuable, but it’s not all-star material to me. His onbase percentage is only .312. Anyway, I’m not trying to cut him short. He’s the man and he’s liable to prove it again as he defends his 2013 Home Run Derby crown. Will we see his family in the crowd? We shall see soon enough